My name is Wenan Wu. I come from China. I graduated high school two year years ago. I like swimming and running. Also I like making jokes to make every one happy. Maybe sometimes it is not funny.I like summer. I often enjoy sunshine durning the summer.
Now I come to Vancouver to study. I have been here 5 months. I am studying in the ELI now. I hope I can go to UBC. It is too hard for me now, but I will work hard.
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I think this paragraph is too short. You should tell something about his hobbies or his life (Thanisa)
ReplyDeleteIt's nice but it too short. you sould care of your sentences. there is a sentence you used one word twice in a row. Also, I think the sentence:( now I come to Vancouver to study ) it sould be in the past. ( Abdulwahab )
ReplyDeleteI want to see more about information yourself, and I think if you write some thing happened to you, it would be more interesting. (Phoebe)
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comments from your classmates, Wenan. I think that you could have developed this paragraph a bit more. Also, be careful with the structure- you have written 2 paragraphs, but it should only be one! Try to join sentences where possible, as this will add variety to your writing. I am looking forward to your next post!
ReplyDeleteYour essay is too simple. please try your best to write some more!But I also got some information about youself!(Will)
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